Bound (Bound Duet Book 1) Page 8

  He had one arm slung haphazardly over his face, hiding his eyes. With a deep sigh, he announced, “Topher’s moving Heather into his house tomorrow.” But he offered no further explanation.

  “Did he ask you to leave? Why wouldn’t he tell you ahead of time so you could find an apartment or something?” Topher not giving Gray any notice shocked me, and I was quick to jump to Gray’s defense. Topher wasn’t a thoughtless ass, so this was out of character for him.

  “He told me a few weeks ago. I don’t know why, but I didn’t think it would happen. Then I got up this morning and realized he expected me to leave today since she’s moving in tomorrow. Since I had done nothing about finding a place to live, I came here.” He said this like it wasn’t a big deal, hoping I’d buy his carefree attitude.

  “Gray!” I screeched in disbelief. “What were you thinking? What are you going to do?” He couldn’t live at the Super 8.

  “I guess I will go search for an apartment next week when I’m off work. I’ll stay here this weekend since it’s close to the DC. It’s not a big deal, I promise.”

  I laid next to him on the mattress with my hands on my stomach. He stretched his arm out, silently encouraging me to lift my head to accommodate him sliding it underneath. Rolling onto my side, I tossed an arm over his stomach and snuggled into the crook of his shoulder. My mouth met his with the softest of kisses and just a hint of tongue to tease his senses. The kiss was tender and brief, and I tried to get as close to him as possible when our lips parted. I moved my leg over his, draping myself down his side to snuggle in closer. I wondered what his bare skin would be like against my own and how it would change our relationship if we ever took this monumental step. I thought about him intimately on a regular basis, but fear kept me from ever allowing it to go to the next level. Sex was the defining point in my relationship with Will—once we’d crossed that threshold, I couldn’t walk away from him. I had become submissive to his needs and a side of me had been born I wished now I could bury.

  Brazenly, I glided my hand slowly down his stomach and around his hip as I pondered what it would be like to make love to Gray Dearsley. My pace was agonizingly slow, driving him insane as he twitched and moved ever so slightly beneath my touch. His shirt rode up his abdomen, and I made lazy circles on his exposed skin near his belly button. The beginning of his happy trail tickled the tips of my fingers, and his shorts jumped with noticeable excitement. I hesitated before shyly proceeding with my plight over the bulge. I attempted to act as though it was the most natural thing in the world—no different from rubbing his arm—and stroked him through the material. With my hand still on his shorts, I nearly moaned into his neck. “Gray, why don’t you move in with me? You’re at my place all the time anyhow. It seems silly for you to get an apartment you’ll never be in.”

  His silence lingered far too long. I shouldn’t have said anything. It was too soon, but I got caught up in the moment and wanted to offer him a solution that made sense in my mind…even if it was premature. We hadn’t even said those three magic words, but I just asked him to be my domestic partner.

  “I’m sorry.” I tried to recover quickly. “I wasn’t trying to rush you into anything. Forget I mentioned it.” I attempted to push myself off his chest, but he grabbed me by both arms and rolled me beneath him. God, I wished neither of us had on clothes. I wanted to take that journey with him. I wanted to be with him in a way I’d only shared with one other person…to move past the roadblock Will had left in my path.

  The smile on his face was so big he looked like a jackass eating briars. Gray gazed into my eyes and watched me for a long minute, expressing silently what my heart felt in spades. “You want to live with me?”

  The blush on my cheeks had to be a radiant red. He thought my embarrassment was cute. He wouldn’t stop grinning, and the gleam in his eye, the way they twinkled as light bounced off the irises, hinted at his amusement. I loved this guy, even if I hadn’t admitted it outwardly. My tongue got twisted, which, by the look on his face, he also found adorably cute.

  “We’re together all the time anyhow. You stay with me more than you stay at Topher’s. Seems logical, but I don’t want to pressure you.” I shrugged as if that offered additional information or somehow wrapped up my sentiment.

  “I would love to wake up next to you every morning and know I’m coming home to you every night…” He trailed off.

  “But?” I asked timidly, dreading his response. Rejection stung.

  “I won’t be able to sleep next to you nightly, see you shower daily, or watch you change clothes, and just be with you, Annie. You will have to fight me off regularly if you don’t want to take this any further physically.” He was toying with me, but an element of truth existed in his statement.

  I had been holding out, not wanting to give in quite yet. I didn’t know what I was waiting for, but I guess I needed to know this wasn’t purely sexual, even though I wanted that aspect as much as he did. I had hoped for confirmation I wasn’t a rebound before we sealed the deal—confident he loved me, even if he hadn’t said the words. There was no doubt in my mind—Gray cared for me the way I did him.

  We exchanged no other words. My hand reached down to the hem of his shirt to lift it over his head. A shy smiled played at the edge of my lips. I scooted down the bed and took his shorts and boxers with me. When I pulled them off his feet, I left his socks and stood up. I allowed myself an embarrassing amount of time to admire his body as a whole, but more importantly, the parts I had just uncovered. Facing Gray, I crossed my arms to the bottom of my blouse and leisurely removed it. I barely moved, but the fire in his eyes told me it was an erotic dance he thoroughly enjoyed.

  My shirt fell to the floor next to his clothes, and I unbuttoned my slacks, gliding them down my long, tanned legs before stepping out of them. The pink lace bra and panties left nothing to the imagination. Standing before Gray, he could see right through them. Had I known this would take place, I would’ve opted for black over pink, but these offered a softness that better suited my sexuality. Gray didn’t move a muscle, he laid there, paying close attention—stalking his prey. His eyes tracked every move I made—captivated by the show. With a deep breath, I finally removed my lingerie and crawled up the length of his body.

  It had been so long since I’d been with anyone—my mind raced with nervous anticipation. He reached out, caressing my sides as I moved up his legs. I hoped he reciprocated my aching need for him. I wanted to have him against me, skin on skin. My hips met his, and I pressed myself against him, securing my hands under his shoulders. Gray wanted to take control, but he held back, allowing me to set the pace. Lightly, he brushed his hands against my ribs, moving his fingers up and down my sides before they came to rest on my hipbones. I moaned into his mouth, and he succumbed to a kiss. Deliberately, I moved my sex against his hard shaft and played innocent as he pushed back from my mouth slightly.

  I gave him a timid smile, and my lips left a trail of kisses down his neck, over his chest, and down his abs. My hands roamed his body as freely as he explored mine. He lost his resolve to allow me to dictate the pace and leaned down to grasp my arms, pulling me up to where he wanted me. I pushed down, taking his length in, and sat up to sink to the hilt. Impaling me, he seemed impatient for me to move. His hands encouraged my hips, easing me up and down at a pace that made him smile.

  When I found my rhythm, his fingers wandered over my skin, exploring again. Being with Gray was better than anything I’d ever fantasized about. His expression, the way our eyes seemed to communicate, our bodies danced in perfect synchronization—it was hypnotic and blissful. I cried out in pleasure, barely able to make out my breathy moan. “Gray…”

  He continued to meet me thrust for thrust, our bodies melding together in a tangled mess of sweat, lust, and love. Wrapping me in his arms and securing me in his embrace, he flipped me over, flat on my back. Intuitively, my legs circled his waist, and I crossed them at the ankles. Our bodies had become one with no end
, and my heart got tangled in the embrace. The love and passion coursing through me were far greater than anything I’d ever experienced with Will, or possibly just different. Either way, it was strong—it grabbed ahold of my spirit and squeezed me in the warmest embrace I’d ever felt. The way his breath occupied my ear, hovering with heat around the lobe as he whispered his pleasure. Each roll of his hips brought me higher and closer, to the brink of that final wave. As every part of me, mind and body, crashed through the pleasure, the world lost focus, and all I could do was feel—him on me, in me, connected to me. His teeth united with my neck as he found his own release and bit down.

  He recovered beside me, his arms still around me, encouraging me to stay close. When my breathing returned to normal, I recuperated before glancing up at Gray and finding those sweet blues. I saw love emanating from him—even if he hadn’t said it—I knew.

  “What was that?” I asked in a panting whisper.

  “What was what?”

  “That thing you did with your leg.”

  “You like that?” A smile instantly hit his face.

  “That’s an understatement. If I’d known you had mad skills, I wouldn’t have made you wait so long.” Giggling, I winked at him.

  “You ain’t seen nothing yet, baby. I’m just getting warmed up. Now that you’ve let me in get ready. I’m insatiable. The more you scream, the more I want you. I’ve never heard a woman cry out like you did, and it was hot.”

  We had slept in the next morning before we took Gray’s stuff to my apartment. He didn’t have much, just his clothes. It saddened me that he had left his entire life behind at his house when he’d moved out, but he said he could replace material things. It didn’t seem to bother him, so I tried not to let it bother me, but something about his departure from his marriage seemed more sudden than planned. Or possibly he’d given her everything to ease the weight of the guilt he’d felt over leaving.

  Scarlett and Topher had helped us load everything up and followed us over to my apartment. They would leave my place to go by Heather’s and start the process of moving her in. I doubted it would be as easy as Gray’s leg of the trip had been.

  My space was a decent size for me, but adding another person was a little cramped. It was probably a good thing he didn’t have a ton of belongings because we had a hard time figuring out what to do with his clothes. There was definitely not enough space in my closet for both of our things.

  “I’ll put a bar out in the storage area on the porch to make a closet.”

  I thought he was joking, but a few minutes later, he grabbed his keys and told us he’d be back.

  Scarlett and Topher hung out until Gray returned. He walked in the door with a wooden rod, and together, he and Topher installed it in the storage closet on the porch. Scarlett and I howled with laughter at the thought of him stepping out onto the third-floor balcony every morning in his boxers or a towel to get dressed, but he didn’t seem to think it was an issue. He’d just created a makeshift wardrobe. He would freeze his tail off in the winter, but I giggled with my friend until he gave me the evil eye, and I shut my mouth. They left shortly after.

  I craved structure and routine and quickly fell into one. He got up when I did, even when he didn’t have to work. In turn, I had to set my alarm earlier because he kept making me late. When he said he was insatiable, he’d meant it. The man could go any time, any day, as often as I’d oblige. If I got in the shower without him, he grabbed me when I got out. We’d begun to consume each other—physically, emotionally, intimately—in every way possible.

  Gray had fast become one of my best friends; we talked about everything. He took an interest in my day and my job, my friends, and the fact I’d spent more time with Scarlett. He loved her like a little sister, but I wondered how much he actually knew about her. I couldn’t imagine he would’ve encouraged me to hang out with her if he was aware we shared similar interests in recreational drugs. With each conversation and every meal, another piece of my wall chipped away and cracks formed in the mortar. There would come a time I’d have to open up to him about Will; he’d been encouraging me but hadn’t pried. Through our conversations, he’d offered tidbits here and there about Abby and how things had gone south between them, and I quickly realized the enormous amount of pressure her family had put on him. She was a nurse, and Gray’s career at 3 Tier had been fantastic in their eyes while he put her through college. But the day she graduated, suddenly, a blue-collar worker wasn’t good enough for her anymore. Her parents had been vocal about his inability to provide for her in the way she deserved, and ultimately, they’d convinced him they were right.

  There were parts of Will in Gray’s story. With each nugget of information he imparted, he drew me in a little deeper, wanting to be the difference in his life. I wanted to be the one who loved him and gave him the confidence to believe he was a good man. He deserved that home-run, out-of-the-ballpark kind of love—unconditional, implausible, fairytale romance—and I wanted to show him what it was like. He was cast aside by his father, his mother did the best she could, but after four husbands, he hadn’t exactly had the best role models for relationships. Then the family he married into suddenly turned on him, telling him he wasn’t good enough for their daughter because of the number of commas on his paycheck. It wasn’t a sob story, and he wasn’t looking for pity. I connected the dots, and many of them connected to my past. I’d prayed for a mulligan with Will and never got it—I couldn’t help but think that loss, those life experiences, would prove beneficial in loving Gray.

  The problem remained, I had yet to confide in him much about Will, our relationship, or his death. He didn’t know why his pushing the envelope with me sexually was such a big deal or understand why it took so much trust. Things with Will had always been vanilla. He was the only person I’d ever been with, but because of what he endured at home, sex had to be a certain way. Will always had to be in control, or he’d lose his grip on reality. I tried to accommodate his requests, and in turn, I had never explored my sexuality. Gray, on the other hand, exuded sexual prowess; quite frankly, he liked to fuck, and he was a bit of a freak in the sheets. I loved the parts of me he helped blossom, but it had taken a great deal of effort on my part to get past my initial resistance.

  It started with little, harmless requests like going without panties in public. He liked knowing there was nothing under my jeans, and he wanted them tight. The hair pulling was new, but I found the slight pain in the pull so pleasurable I’d gotten off on it. I mentioned that to my therapist who was concerned I accepted pain in exchange for pleasure to punish myself for failing to save Will. But for once, I told him he was full of himself, and I just liked the bite and the sting. Will had ground into my head that sex doggy style was degrading, and when Gray had me on all fours, the first crack in my armor was exposed, and I couldn’t contain my fear. My confident exterior, the only one he’d seen, shattered, and the scared girl who hid inside me was revealed.

  His hands were on my hips, and my ass was high in the air as I posed ready for him to enter from behind. I hadn’t thought about the position; it hadn’t dawned on me because I’d never been here before. But I’d seen Will here. I’d seen him sodomized by a man his mother had trusted and later learned he took it to keep her from suffering. That image, that day I’d come across him accidentally, I’d cried out, startling him, his stepfather, and his stepfather’s friends. He’d then endured more to protect me from their abuse. And now, with Gray’s hands on my hips, I’d cried out that same shrill yell again.

  “No…” My voice echoed off the walls and hung in the air. I panted and chanted the word over and over trying to will the memory away from my mind, completely unaware Gray was in the room. Curled into myself, I rocked and sobbed, evading the touch of a man who tried to comfort me, not the one from my past who’d wanted to hurt Will.

  “Annie, what’s wrong?”

  I was trapped in that state between reality and sleep, the one that made it impossible to
acknowledge the present. Gray’s voice didn’t match the one I’d heard so many years ago, but I couldn’t quite disconnect from the bitter memory holding on to me.

  “Shh, baby. I won’t hurt you. Shh.”

  It might have been minutes or hours before I escaped the mental confines of my past, I didn’t know. But when I’d calmed enough that I became aware of my surroundings, Gray had me wrapped in a blanket, his arms tight around me, and my head pressed into his chest. I chanced a glance, finding his eyes, and they had instantly warmed me and eased my panic. I hadn’t experienced an attack like that in years.

  I was about to have to open up to Gray.

  His voice was soft when he finally spoke. “What just happened?”

  As much as I’d wanted to evade the question, pretend I didn’t know what he was referring to, we’d promised no secrets, and he’d been more than patient with my desire not to share this one. Even if I only gave him a condensed version, I could no longer pretend my past didn’t affect my present.

  He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my sweaty head, giving me time to form the words I was willing to share. There was no rush, he wasn’t prying, but I didn’t want to have to do this more than once. So I took a deep breath and told the simplest version of the story I could.

  “Will and I started dating middle of freshman year. We became very close, very good friends in the second semester. All of our free time was spent together outside of school. Our houses were in the same neighborhood, so hanging out over summer break was easy. I’d gotten used to going over after I’d gotten up in the morning and we’d hang out at his pool.” I stopped and smiled at Gray, but I needed to put distance between us while I relived this hell.

  “I never called. His parents were always at work, and we met in the backyard on the deck. It was a day no different from any other. It was hot, already humid by ten that morning. The air stuck to me as I rode my bike down the street to his house in a bikini and jean shorts. But when I got to Will’s house, he wasn’t out back.” At this rate, it would take me days to get through this, and this was just the tip of the iceberg.